Chuckle 5624

Chuckle 5624 Classic Chuckle 2402 June 2010 (Rick R of Surrey BC gets today's chuckle thanks.) ~SEX AFTER DEATH~ (2nd time around) (Also; Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, and Maxine, A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. “Marion ... Marion” "Is that you, Bob?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?" "No...........I'm a rabbit in Arizona (Click Today in History and learn.) Today in History from Yahoo ______________________________________________________ (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) (Word for the Day) ________________________________________________________ (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) Today's Horoscope ) ________________________________________________________ (Classifieds from Lora S of Florence OR ) GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. ________________________________________________ (Bev’s New Maxines)

(Have a Great Easter)

Chuckle 5622

Chuckle 5622 Classic Chuckle 3740 (Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR) ~Drinking in Prescott AZ~ (Plus: today in history, word for the day, today’s horoscope, Maxine and sign) Jerry was standing at the bar in Prescott, Arizona and this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to him and starts drinking a beer. Jerry asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?" He says "No, why the heck you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?" "No", Jerry said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little jerk. _____________________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/ _______________________________________________________________________ Maxine

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Chuckle 5621

Chuckle 5621 Classic Chuckle 296 (Sent out in April 2004) (Rick in Surrey BC gets today’s chuckle thanks!) ~Mexican Food~ (Plus: today in history, word for the day, todays horoscope, Maxine and 6 diff's) Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bullfight this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bullfight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"! The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins!" ___________________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/ __________________________________________________________________________

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Chuckle 5620

Chuckle 5620 Classic Chuckle 3732 Classic Chuckle 295 (Sent out in April 2004) (Mary of Los Osos sent us today’s chuckle. Thanks Mary!) ~ The Blonde's New Present~ (Plus: today in history, word for the day, today’s horoscope, Maxine and Sign) A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi hun," he says, "How do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?" _______________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/ Maxine _____________________________________________________________

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Sign

Chuckle 5619

Chuckle 5619 Classic Chuckle 164 (sent out in Nov. 2003) (Pat Mahoney of Florence, OR sent today’s chuckle to us. Thanks Pat.) ~Nair For Hard of Hearing Dog~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s Horoscope Maxine and Herman) My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some 'Nair' hair remover and rub in its ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer." The druggist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a week!" ____________________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/ ____________________________________________________________________

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Chuckle 5618

Chuckle 5618 Classic Chuckle 3728 (Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Ron S of West Lake OR) ~Lawn Mower~ Plus: today in history, word for the day, today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s) A preacher was riding a bicycle down the street when he sees a boy with a lawn mower. The preacher said, "I need a lawn mower and you need a bike, so why don't we swap and they did. Later the boy was riding his bicycle down the street and saw the preacher pulling on the mower and couldn't get it to start. The boy said "If you cuss it, it'll start." The preacher said, "Son I'm a preacher. I forgot how to cuss years ago." The boy said "just keep pulling and it'll come back to you." ______________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/ ________________________________________________________________

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Chuckle 5617

Chuckle 5617 Classic Chuckle 3727 (Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR) ~I Met an Older Woman at a Bar~ (Plus: today in history, word for the day, today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman) I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60+year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night.' We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?' ______________________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/ ____________________________________________________________________ Maxine

____________________________________________________________________ Herman