Chuckle 941

Chuckle 941
(Rick R in Surrey BC gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~Thoughts on Beer~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

Thoughts on Beer Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Babe Ruth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. “~ Lyndon B. Johnson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Paul Hornung

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ H. L. Mencken

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ George Bernard Shaw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!

~ W. C. Fields

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
~ Professor Irwin Corey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Leo Durocher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." ***

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
_______________________________________________________
Visit my Blog by clicking -- http://mrchuckles2006.blogspot.com/
__________________________________________________________________

Click Today in History and learn.

•
Today in history
_______________________________________________________

Word of the Day for Thursday February 2, 2006

parlous \PAR-luhs\, adjective:Attended with peril; fraught with danger; hazardous.

It was a parlous time on the Continent, when Communists and fascists vied brutally for supremacy.-- Howard Simons, "Shots Seen Round the World," New York Times, September 22, 1985

The Crisis left Indonesia's state finances in such a parlous state that the government is now heavily exposed to future risks.-- Penny Crisp and Jose Manuel Tesoro, "The Buck Stops Here," Asiaweek, July 7, 2000