Chuckle 4585

Chuckle 4585

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Elva B in Caldwell ID)

Did you remember to change your Clock?

~Places to Retire Pt 2~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

You can retire to Minnesota where...

1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.

3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.

6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different, she is different or It was different!

OR

You can retire to The Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

5. Everywhere is either: "in yonder", "over yonder" or "out yonder".

OR

You can retire to Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4.. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR

You can retire to the Nebraska where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

OR

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where....

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine

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 Herman