Chuckle 1077

Chuckle 1077
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Phyllis S of Pasadena CA!)

~Funny Quotes~ Part Two
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgol

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

I am opposed to millionaires - Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up. - Joe Namath

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Monday June 19, 2006
ephemeron \ih-FEM-uh-ron\, noun;plural ephemera \ih-FEM-uh-ruh\:1. Something short-lived or of no lasting significance.2. ephemera: Items, especially printed matter (as posters, broadsides, pamphlets, etc.), intended to be of use or importance for only a short time but preserved by collectors.

And collections of correspondence will always reveal "a remarkable mind, grappling with everything from the ephemera of day-to-day life to the mysteries of the universe."-- John Bloom, "The 'Art' of the Review", National Review, May 21, 2002

The Sanskrit word for the world is jagati, while the word for changing or evanescent is jagat: the world's evanescent nature is actually built into the very definition of "world." Yet behind this shimmering ephemeron lies the deeper, sacred reality -- Brahman, the infinite, transcendent reality that covers and pervades all things.-- Pravrajika Vrajaprana, "Contemporary Spirituality and the Thinning of the Sacred: A Hindu Perspective", Cross Currents, Spring-Summer 2000

It is one of the most collectable of all cult shows, with an army of fans hungry for a plethora of Star Trek ephemera.-- Nick Pandya, "To boldly go where others don't", The Guardian, March 23, 2002
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)