Chuckle 1127

Chuckle 1127
(Joyce K of Queen Creek AZ gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~More Things to Ponder!!~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

Number 10: Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6: Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2: In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 FOOD FOR THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Tuesday August 8, 2006

ascribe \uh-SKRYB\, transitive verb:1. To attribute, as to a source or cause; as, "they ascribed the poor harvest to drought."2. To attribute, as a quality; to consider or allege to belong; as, "ascribed jealousy to the critics."

Scholars conventionally ascribe Hemingway's creative dissolution to drinking and depression, but to me that has always seemed too simple.-- D. T. Max, "Ernest Hemingway's War Wounds", New York Times Magazine, July 18, 1999

Plainness won't do for today's cookbook writers; when they're not emoting over mere food, they ascribe all sorts of fanciful powers to it.-- "Shut Up and Eat!", New York Times, November 24, 1996
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