Chuckle 1462

Chuckle 1462
(Joyce K of Florence AZ gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~Ham Sandwich~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin

I licked it off. It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard."Poupon."

When you stop laughing, pass it on. ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)
. Today in history
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(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
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Solutions for problems found around the house, sent to us by Sandy J of Florence OR.


When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
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Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer.

Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush! And flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China
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Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.
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