Chuckle 2919

(Chuckle 2919)
(Linda M of Gresham OR gets today's Chuckle thanks)

~The Motel Moment~ (Also: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and Bev’s Gas Toons.)

-Last week, on the return trip from my son's home 500 miles away, I checked into a motel. It happened to be my 68th birthday, and I was a bit lonely.

I thought to myself, "By God, I'm going to call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

I looked through the phone book, found a full-page ad for a guy calling himself "Tender Tony" --- an extremely handsome man with assorted physical skills --- and decided he was the one. Tony was flexing in the photo, with all the right muscles in all the right places. He had thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six-pack abs . . . and I felt quite certain I could bounce a silver dollar off his well-oiled bum.

I figured, what the hell, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

He answered on the first ring. "Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?"

"Oh my God!" I thought, he sounds soooooooo sexy!

Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated; I rushed right in, "Hi. Now listen closely. I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, no wait! I should be straight-up with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I mean, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements. Toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks, y'hear me? We'll go hot and heavy all night. You can tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream . . . anything and everything, I'm ready! Now how does that sound?"

Breathing hard, the man replied, “Ma’am, that sounds absolutely fantastic and I'd love to help you . . . but . . . you need to press '9' for an outside line . . ."

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