Chuckle 4086

Chuckle 4086 Classic
Chuckle 259 (Sent out in Mar 2004)

(Today’s chuckle thanks go to Pam in Roseville, CA!)

~Marriage at It's Finest:~  ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Marriage (Part I)

   A typical man married a good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

  "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you.  I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.  I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

   His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me.  Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Marriage (Part II)

  A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!  The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'

   "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.  Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

At around dinner-time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.  She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

He says, "What are you doing in bed at this hour?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.  He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion and respect shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

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Maxine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Herman