Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 4755

Chuckle 4755 Classic

Chuckle 564 (Was sent out Jan 2005)

(Mary in Los Osos CA gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~It Was Like This, Your Honor~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi, I’m Belinda! This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.’ Is everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda ... try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice...it's Spandex. We can't be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold

4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape. Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, “Can you stand on your tippee toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

"Fine," I answered. I was freezing, bruised and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt, a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! "What?" I yelled. "Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vice alone, are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy... the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back"

Before I could shout, NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria I replied with as much calmness as possible. "Uh, yes...yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care," Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement,

she said, "Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.

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