Chuckle 5355

Chuckle 5355

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nancy in Sun City AZ)

~ Lemon Squeeze~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and 6 Diff’s Sign )

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
  
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'  

The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

The young woman asked,  'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

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Catholic Dog

Muldoon  lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.  One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,  'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not.  We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father.  Do ya' think $5,000. is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dear dog was Catholic?
 

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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6 Diff’s