Chuckle 949

Chuckle 949
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Retha A of Richland OR!)

~Alligators~
(Plus: Word for the day and Today in History.)

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington, DC.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big 'gator, what you been eatin' boy?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.

"Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"

"Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"

"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase. ***

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• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Friday February 10, 2006

autodidact \aw-toh-DY-dakt\, noun:One who is self-taught.

He is our ultimate autodidact, a man who made himself from nothing into a lawyer, a legislator -- a president.-- Kevin Baker, "Log Cabin Values," New York Times, April 2, 2000

Consider the autodidact in Sartre's Nausea, who is somewhat unbelievably working his way alphabetically through an entire library.-- James Wood, "Human, All Too Inhuman," New Republic, July 24, 2000

Buck's prose is a lot better than you'd expect from a high-school dropout, but he turns out to be a reader and autodidact.-- Jonathan Yardley, "review of North Star over My Shoulder: A Flying Life, by Bob Buck," Washington Post, April 7, 2002