Chuckle 1011

Chuckle 1011
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Jayne C of Florence OR!)

~Answers to Teachers' Questions ~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

If you ask kids a question you better be ready for an answer.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right.... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher. ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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(Try ordering one of these and see what you get!!
Word of the Day for Thursday April 13, 2006

salmagundi \sal-muh-GUHN-dee\, noun:1. A salad plate usually consisting of chopped meat, anchovies, eggs, and onions, served with oil and vinegar.2. Any mixture or assortment; a medley; a potpourri; a miscellany.

A glance at the schedule is enough to make one feel that one would rather go out and shoot songbirds than stay in and watch the dismal salmagundi of game shows, repeats and soap operas.-- Jane Shilling, "My brother and other animals", Daily Telegraph, August 22, 1998

What the BBC has the nerve to call Vanity Fair is a baffling salmagundi of Nineties accents, 1800s clothes, Wardour Street plotting, and a sort of language never spoken by any human being at any point in history.-- "Stop betraying the classics", Independent, November 4, 1998
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)