Chuckle 1008

Chuckle 1008
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Retha A of Richland OR!)
(Note; Maybe some one out there in email land can send me a
chuckle on raising daughters!!) ---Jerry---


~Raising a Male Child~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas, Things I've learned from my Boys honest, and no kidding!

1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words oh no!!! it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A 6-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11. Play Dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still cannot walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject sandwiches, even though TV commercials show that they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make los of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:

a. For those with no children, this is totally hysterical!

b. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

c. For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning! ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Monday April 10, 2006

stripling \STRIP-ling\, noun:A youth in the state of adolescence, or just passing from boyhood to manhood; a lad.

But at that time he was too young to drive a car, and I wasn't, so I took it upon myself to tell the stripling a thing or two.-- Geoffrey Wolff, "Advice My Brother Never Took", New York Times, August 20, 1989

It is even possible that some . . . who might be thought to have a chance of election as Pope because of their youthful vigour -- by Vatican standards, a man of 60 is a stripling -- will see their chances come and go in turn.-- Andrew Medichini, "Cardinal secrets", Times (London), January 23, 2001

There are precious few constants in the story of the yen. For a start, it is a stripling among the monies of the world, being not much more than a century old.-- Pico Iyer, "Tacos in Kyoto, Kimonos in Peru", New York Times, April 28, 1991
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