Chuckle 999

Chuckle 999
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Marline W of Florence OR!)

~Little Old Lady Chuckle~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him. "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the little bastard!***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Saturday April 1, 2006

chicanery \shih-KAY-nuh-ree\, noun:1. The use of trickery or sophistry to deceive (as in matters of law).2. A trick; a subterfuge.

Wordsworth's paternal grandfather, Richard, had first come to Westmorland from South Yorkshire in 1700, to recoup his fortunes with the then baron Lonsdale, having been done out of his fortune by his own guardian's chicanery.-- Kenneth R. Johnston, The Hidden Wordsworth

True, Gramm-Rudman's deficit targets were often met only by chicanery -- by anticipating revenues and moving expenses off-budget.-- David Frum, "Righter Than Newt", The Atlantic, March 1995

What is more, it can be deliberately adulterated by the farmer with sand, tree sap or ash, although a trained opium buyer can spot these tricks and few farmers dare resort to such chicanery.-- Martin Booth, Opium: A History
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)