Chuckle 995

Chuckle 995
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Phyllis H of Carpinteria CA!)

~Cup of Coffee and Now that I'm older~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and
brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and he was so
proud. Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict. The grandmother,
in all her life, had never had such a bad cup of coffee. As she forced
down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green
army guys were in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men be in
the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, its like on TV. The best
part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

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~Now That I'm Older~

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
5. All reports are in: Life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in
the bathroom.
13. If God wants me to touch my toes, he would have put them on
my knees.
14. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide
to play chess?
15. It's not hard to meet expenses they're everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
17. These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder
what am I here after.***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Tuesday March 28, 2006

superfluous \soo-PER-floo-us\, adjective:More than is wanted or is sufficient; rendered unnecessary by superabundance; unnecessary; useless; excessive.-- SUPERFLUOUSLY, adverb-- SUPERFLUOUSNESS, noun

And it's hard to realize economies of scale without shedding superfluous jobs.-- "The Health of Valley Hospitals: Merger of Holy Cross, Providence Made Sense but Still Caused Pain," Los Angeles Times, July 27, 1999

Power Grubs make a dead skunk smell like a rose by comparison. The 'Not for human consumption' warning is superfluous.-- "Smelly grub a smash," Toronto Star, May 1, 1999

Everything superfluous is more noticeable in him [Hemmingway] than in other writers.-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, "Gabriel Garcia Marquez Meets Ernest Hemingway," New York Times, July 26, 1981

An authority which makes all further argument or illustration superfluous.-- E. Everett
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