Chuckle 997

Chuckle 997
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Rick R of Surrey BC and Rich W of Scotts Valley CA!)

~The Hillbilly Vasectomy~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have anymore children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb,
(fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count...

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"



At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, South Carolina, West Virginia and Georgia. ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Thursday March 30, 2006

benignant \bih-NIG-nuhnt\, adjective:1. Kind; gracious.2. Beneficial; favorable.

After the captain and ladies had sat down, the autocratic steward rang a second bell, and with a majestic wave of the hand, and a calm, benignant smile, signified his pleasure that we should sit down.-- Sir Henry Stanley, "Grand tours - Mind your manners at the captain's table," Independent, August 18, 2002

At the meeting it was strange to see, amidst the peaceful, benignant faces, this woe-begone old man, with his thick white hair and his deeply furrowed placid cheeks, looking wistfully from one to the other, and listening anxiously, hoping some day to hear the words which should bring peace to his soul.-- Alexander L. Kielland, Skipper Worse

Human beings . . . are forever ascribing malignant or benignant motives even to inanimate forces such as the weather, volcanoes, and internal-combustion engines.-- Stephen Budiansky, "The Truth About Dogs," The Atlantic, July 1999
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