Chuckle 996

Chuckle 996
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Pat M of Florence OR!)

~Senior Citizen's Bus Trip~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Burlington, IA, to Branson, MO.

As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.

A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.

The bus driver decides that he'd had enough, and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.

"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I try to grab it..., it runs away...!” ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Wednesday March 29, 2006

invidious \in-VID-ee-uhs\, adjective:1. Tending to provoke envy, resentment, or ill will.2. Containing or implying a slight.3. Envious.

But to the human hordes of Amorites -- Semitic nomads wandering the mountains and deserts just beyond the pale of Sumer -- the tiered and clustered cities, strung out along the green banks of the meandering Euphrates like a giant's necklace of polished stone, seemed shining things, each surmounted by a wondrous temple and ziggurat dedicated to the city's god-protector, each city noted for some specialty -- all invidious reminders of what the nomads did not possess.-- Thomas Cahill, The Gifts of the Jews

In his experience people were seldom happier for having learned what they were missing, and all Europe had done for his wife was encourage her natural inclination toward bitter and invidious comparison.-- Richard Russo, Empire Falls

The lover's obsessiveness may also take the form of invidious comparisons between himself, or herself, and the rival.-- Ethel S. Person, "Love Triangles," The Atlantic, February 1988

For five decades, Indian liberals, and some from Europe and America, have been shaming the Western world with its commercialism, making invidious comparisons with Indian spirituality.-- Leland Hazard, "Strong Medicine for India," The Atlantic, December 1965
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)