Chuckle 2979

(Chuckle 2979)

(Keith K of Florence OR gets today's Chuckle thanks)




~Irish Humor~ (Also: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and Quickies)

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
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Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

Word for the day Click

http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/

For today's Horoscope click
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/
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(Maxine Cartoon)

(Quickies from Keith K of Florence)

The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere. Also when you get to where you can afford steaks and Ice Cream. It's not healthy to eat them
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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.