Chuckle 3076

(Chuckle 3076)

(Today’s chuckle thanks go to Mary S. of Los Osos CA for the 1st and Dean O. of Florence OR for the 2nd!)
Chuckle 275 (Sent out in March 2004)

~Irish Confessional: ~ (Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and 6 differences.)

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin'; there's no paper on this side either.

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~God Sometimes Thinks Twice: ~

A man walking along an Oregon beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I shall grant you one wish."

The man said, "I would like a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord replied, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The piers required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It would nearly exhaust several natural resources. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long while. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, and what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make her truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

Word for the day Click
http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/

For today's Horoscope click
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

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(Maxine Cartoon)

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(Find the six differences, answers below)