Friday, January 04, 2013

Chuckle 3139

(Chuckle 3139)
(Phyllis S of Pasadena CA gets today’s chuckle thanks)

~When Grandma Goes To Court ~ (Second time around) (Also: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and Burma Shave signs)

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

he again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day/

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

(Maxine Cartoon)

sorry no maxine today
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(Memories for you and me from Nancy in Sheridan WY.)

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave


CATTLE CROSSING
MEANS GO SLOW
THAT OLD BULL
IS SOME COW'S BEAU
Burma Shave





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