Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 4003

Chuckle 4003
(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nicky H of Florence OR)

(Retired Husband Part 1) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

This is why the old man never comes shopping with me!

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse and leaves me with endless time to fill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a "Code 3."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding Department, to which twenty children obliged.

Part 2 (8-16) will follow tomorrow

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

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Maxine