Chuckle 4433

Chuckle 4433

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L in Mt Vernon WA)

~The Cynical Philosopher~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Some familiar, some not

  ♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

 ♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

 ♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 ♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

 ♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

 ♦ A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

 ♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

___________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_________________________________________

 Maxine 

 _____________________________________________

Herman