Chuckle 4605

Chuckle 4605

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Definition of "OLD"~ Pt1 (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

#1 I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD"!

#2

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied: "Two years older than me" "So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

#3

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing

About being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

#4

I've sure gotten old!  I have outlived my feet and my teeth I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

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Maxine

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 Herman