Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 4839

Chuckle 4839

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K and Nancy S

Paraprosdokians From Keith and

Aphorisms From Nancy

From Keith

More Paraprosdokians

First time I heard about Paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them).

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

From Nancy

Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble....but shouldn’t that be an even number?

♦
I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

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When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦

Relationships   are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

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You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body

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My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

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Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.

Today's word is APHORISM .....WHAT? Gem.

Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble....but shouldn’t that be an even number?

♦
I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

♦
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦  Relationships   are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦   America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

♦   You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body

♦   My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!
  ♦
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Maxine