Chuckle 5089

Chuckle 5089

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bill P of Florence OR)

~Definition of "OLD"~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s

I've sure gotten old!  I have outlived my feet and my teeth      

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees,

fought prostate cancer and diabetes 

I'm half blind, 

Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, 

Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. 

Have bouts with dementia 

Have poor circulation; 

Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. 

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. 

Have lost all my friends But, thank God, 

I still have my driver's license.

  

  

#5

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, 

So I got my doctor's permission to 

Join a fitness club and start exercising. 

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. 

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, 

By the time I got my leotards on, 

The class was over.

  

  

#6

  

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. 

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, 

She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. 

"Why Wal-Mart?"      

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine  

  

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s