Chuckle 5512

 

Chuckle 5512 Classic

 Chuckle 24 

(Thanks to John and Jayne)

 ~Bran Muffins~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and Sign)

    The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

   One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them
inside.

  He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and
fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master
bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the
closet.

  They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to
Heaven. This will be your home now."

 

  The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

  "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your
reward in Heaven."

  The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any
ever-built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old
man.

   "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for
free, everyday."

  Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet
lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from
seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.



"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is
Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."

  The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his
wife.

  "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods,
and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

  "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat
and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never
get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your

bran muffins. We could have been here ten
years ago."

_____________________________________________

 

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

 ________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________

More from Nancy in Sun City AZ