Chuckle 5565

Chuckle 5565 (Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nancy of Sun City AZ) … 2021 thoughts... ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and Sign ) Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years. Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter. It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult. Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers. N ever sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember...Don’t sing! M y wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started. During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends? If 2020 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof? W e can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct S o if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure? \ I ’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit. A t what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.” W e all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ______________________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/ _______________________________________________________________________