Chuckle 974

Chuckle 974
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Retha A in Richland OR!)


~Keep Your Cigarette Dry~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

Two elderly ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"It doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted. ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Tuesday March 7, 2006

expropriate \ek-SPROH-pree-ayt\, transitive verb:1. To deprive of possession.2. To transfer (the property of another) to oneself.

Very few voters, after all, really believe Europe's new generation of social democratic leaders are wild Bolsheviks plotting to expropriate their Toyotas.-- Fintan O'Toole, "The last gasp of social democracy," Irish Times, March 19, 1999

The Spanish constitution declared the country "a democratic republic of workers of all classes" and laid down that property might be expropriated "for social uses."-- Mark Mazower, Dark Continent

Farmlands that had belonged to Bosnia's Muslim beys . . and agas were expropriated without compensation and handed over to their former tenant sharecroppers.-- Chuck Sudetic, Blood and Vengeance
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)