Chuckle 984

Chuckle 984

~Have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day ~


(These St. Patrick’s Day chuckles were sent to us by Dick L of Florence OR)

Knock, knock! Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!

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A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up: "You're making out we're all dumb and stupid. I ought ‘a punch you in the nose. . . "
The ventriloquist started to reply: "I'm sorry, sir; I..."

"Not you!" says the Irishman. I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was "driving him to drink." Quinn thinks Murphy is very lucky because his own wife makes him walk. ***
---Dick! ---


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(Today's chuckle thanks also go to Carrie and Jeannie of Sacramento CA)


~Bear in a Bar~2nd time around.
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate!” ***

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_______________________________________________________ (Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Friday March 17, 2006
verdant \VUR-dnt\, adjective:1. Covered with growing plants or grass; green with vegetation.2. Green.3. Unripe in knowledge, judgment, or experience; unsophisticated; green.

Drab in winter, then suddenly sodden with alpine runoff, the region turns dazzlingly verdant in spring.-- Patricia Albers, Shadows, Fire, Snow

Dry as the region just outside the delta may be, it would still be covered with grasses, yellowish in the dry season, verdant in the wet.-- Niles Eldredge, Life in the Balance
I was verdant enough to think her Agrippine very fine.-- Henry James, "The Théâtre Français"
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)