Chuckle 979

Chuckle 979
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Gary of La Habra CA!)


~Short Chuckles~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

~It Pays to Be Careful around Elderly People~ (2nd time around)

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the peanuts themselves. "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

It pays to be careful around old people. ***
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~Religious Healing Program~

Grandma and grandpa were watching a religious healing program on TV.

The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed.

Grandma hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on her arthritic hip.

Grandpa made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch.

Grandma looked at him with disgust: "you just don't understand, you old coot. The purpose of this program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!!!!! ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Sunday March 12, 2006
parvenu \PAR-vuh-noo; -nyoo\, noun:1. One that has recently or suddenly risen to a higher social or economic class but has not gained social acceptance of others in that class; an upstart.
adjective:1. Being a parvenu; also, like or having the characteristics of a parvenu.

But the favourite's power and influence provoke intense ill-feeling among other courtiers, who regard him as a sinister usurping parvenu with ideas above his station, or perhaps even a sorcerer.-- Francis Wheen, "The whole truth about Peter's friends," The Guardian, January 31, 2001

However, the Creoles, French, Spanish, and Acadians who preceded the American parvenus were deeply entrenched and incredibly snobbish and clannish in relation to outsiders.-- Laurence Bergreen, Louis Armstrong: An Extravagant Life

When John Stewart Parnell went up to Magdalene College, Cambridge in 1865 he found that "the sons of moneyed parvenus from the North of England tried to liken themselves to country gentlemen and succeeded in looking like stable boys."-- J. Mordaunt Crook, The Rise of the Nouveaux Riches

The Progressives were of the educated middle class, angry at the rule of parvenu financiers and industrialists.-- Norman Birnbaum, After Progress
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