Chuckle 1059

Chuckle 1059
(Today's chuckle thanks go to George H of Florence OR!)


~Two Chuckles from George~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

"US in Danger "

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers. He went on to say that if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Microsoft, Dell and AOL customer service reps.

It's getting ugly folks!!!! ***

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The Difference between "Guts" & "Balls"

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and saying: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject. ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Thursday June 1, 2006
stormy petrel \STOR-mee-PET-ruhl\, noun:1. Any of various small sea birds of the family Hydrobatidae, having dark plumage with paler underparts; also called storm petrel.2. One who brings discord or strife, or appears at the onset of trouble.

But far from a 'pet' of the Communist regime, Gorky, the "stormy petrel of the revolution," also condemned the revolution early on as a "cruel experiment" with the Russian people "doomed to failure."-- Valentina Kolesnikova, "Maxim Gorky: Hostage of the Revolution", Russian Life, June 1, 1996

Of the unpredictable and constantly angry Paracelsus, for example, the stormy petrel who convulsed the staid medical establishment of the sixteenth century by demanding radical reforms in clinical thinking, he wrote: "This first great revolt against the slavish authority of the schools had little immediate effect, largely on account of the personal vagaries of the reformer--but it made men think."-- Sherwin B. Nuland, "The Saint", New Republic, December 13, 1999

Lenin, the stormy petrel of the Social Democratic party, was facing more serious opposition than ever.-- Michael Pearson, "Lenin's lieutenant", Guardian, September 29, 2001
. .restless and indomitable, scouring like a stormy petrel the angry ocean of debate.-- Lytton Strachey, Eminent Victorians
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)