Chuckle 1051

Chuckle 1051
(Charles M of Sarasota FL gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~Joe's Headache~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

Joe had suffered from an extreme headache for many years. He had seen many doctors, but none had helped. Finally, he decided to try one more, a specialist who had a great reputation for curing headaches. The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for, but he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought "that's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old" The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. A 32 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." New suit = $600 New shirt = $36 New underwear = $6 Second opinion PRICELESS ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Wednesday May 24, 2006

torpid \TOR-pid\, adjective:1. Having lost motion or the power of exertion and feeling; numb; benumbed.2. Dormant; hibernating or estivating.3. Dull; sluggish; apathetic.

Canary Islanders are citizens of Spain, but geography asserts itself from time to time, as a reminder that this land will always be Africa's: the trade winds get interrupted by strong gusts from the east that bring hot dust and sometimes even torpid, wind-buffeted locusts.-- Barbara Kingsolver, "Where the Map Stopped", New York Times, May 17, 1992

For more than twenty years--all my adult life--I have lived here: my great weight sunk, torpid in the heat, into this sagged chair on my rooftop patio.-- Peggy Payne, Sister India
Some animals became torpid in winter, others were torpid in summer.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life

The debacle over signatures has roused the normally politically torpid Mayor, who dislikes pressing the flesh.-- Jan Cienski, "Petition bungle robs Mayor of spot on ballot", National Post, July 30, 2002

It is a man's own fault . . . if his mind grows torpid in old age.-- Samuel Johnson, quoted in James Boswell's Life of Samuel Johnson, Life of Samuel Johnson
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