Chuckle 1093

Chuckle 1093
(Rich W of Scotts Valley CA gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~My Wife Left Me~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

My wife left me and I'm not sure why. After our last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses so I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12 pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up. Then, the other day she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the receipt, I saw she spent $45 for makeup. I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!" She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you." I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back. ***

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~A Few Quotes~

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
…Camille Paglia

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
…Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
…Jack Nicholson

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
… Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
…Robert De Niro ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Wednesday July 5, 2006

apotheosis \uh-pah-thee-OH-sis; ap-uh-THEE-uh-sis\, noun;plural apotheoses \-seez\:1. Elevation to divine rank or stature; deification.2. An exalted or glorified example; a model of excellence or perfection of a kind.

Following martyrdom at the Alamo and apotheosis in song, tall tale, and celluloid myth, this bumpkin from west Tennessee [Davy Crockett] became better known and more revered than all but a handful of American presidents.-- Mark Royden Winchell, Cleanth Brooks and the Rise of Modern Criticism

Plato's Athens, conventionally the apotheosis of civilized Western urbanity, endured Diogenes the Cynic, who (according to tradition) dwelt in contented filth under an overturned bathtub outside the city gates, heaping ribald scorn on philosophers and citizens alike.-- Mark Caldwell, A Short History of Rudeness

Charles I's court represented the English apotheosis of this Renaissance ideal of kingship.-- John Brewer, The Pleasures of the Imagination
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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)