Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 4879

Chuckle 4879

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L of Mt Vernon WA)

~GETTING OLD WITH WISDOM:~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

- I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

- I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

- Old age is coming at a really bad time.

- When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

- The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

- I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.

- If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

- Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

- Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

- At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

- Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. And I don’t have acne.

- Life is great.

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