Chuckle 4996

Chuckle 4996

Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:18 PM Subject:

~Follow these instructions??? ~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through

stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sear's hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."

(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:

"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

(The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how ...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(But its "just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down."

(Too late!)

On Marks & Amp; Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

could  just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

(Talk about a news flash.)

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine

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Herman