Chuckle 5115

Chuckle 5115 Classic

Chuckle 146 (Sent out in Nov 2003)

Three short chuckles. (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope Aunty Acid and Herman


1.   (From Willie of Sacramento, CA.)


   A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife

is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a
hard look at herself. "You know love," she says, "I
look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is
all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my
butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my
arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and
says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel
better about myself."
  He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well...
there's nothing wrong with your eyesight

2.   (From John and Jane of Florence OR.)

       A policeman watches as a man comes out of a fast-food
 restaurant, puts a bucket of chicken on top of his car, unlocks his
car, gets in and drives off with the bucket still on the car's roof.

The policeman edges up behind the fellow's car and sounds his siren, so the man pulls over. The trooper walks up to the car and takes the bucket off the roof. "Here," he says to the driver. "Do you want this?"   "No, thanks," says the man. "I just bought some."

3.   (From Rick and Ann of Surrey, B.C.)

   A Polish lad married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him -"very quick". The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: Ja, Ja, an acre and half.
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: No, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: No, she white.
LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?


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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/


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Aunty Acid















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Herman