Chuckle 5196

As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life In 2019, Remember:

 1. Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."


2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 

3. The difference between the Pope   and your boss   is, the
Pope only expects you to kiss his ring



4. My mind works like lightning - one brilliant flash and it's gone.

 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who , after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10.   Definition of a teenager?

God's punishment.....for enjoying sex.



And, as you slide down that Banister of Life.....
you should pray that all the splinters are pointed the other way.



______________________________________________________



 (Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

   (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
    http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/



_______________________________________________________

Aunty Acid

__________________________________________________

Sign