Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 5314

Chuckle 5314

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev in Mt. Vernon WA)

~Irish Confession~(Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and 6 diff’s)

I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.

Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses.

On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
When the Priest came in, I said to him, “Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
The Priest replied, ”You moron! You're on my side.”

Some Light Dublin Traffic Humor

A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins” shouts one of the drunks.

Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross.”
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts,”Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off.” She then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?”

Mick says to Paddy: “Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”

Paddy says: “Well the joke's on them, because I wasn't even home yesterday.”

An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.

His wife says: “Why don't you put an ad in the paper?”
The farmer does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy" he replies.

The Tour Director asks an Irishman: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies: “Well, if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat wouldn’t they?”

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