Chuckle 5320

Chuckle 5320

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nancy in Sun City AZ)

~Reflections and Resolutions…~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and 6 diff’s)

"Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. "

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. "        

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. "        Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom "       

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. "        

Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. "   

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone " 

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot. "         

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? "        Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. "   

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. "

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. "        

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom. "        

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. "        

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended. "        

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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6 Diff’s