Chuckle 5386

Chuckle 5386

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and Sign )

#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice

#2 - “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop making you mad.

#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it.”

#6 - “On time” is when you get there.

#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.

#8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

#9 - Lately, You've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

#10 - Growing old should have taken longer.

#11 - Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.

And one more:  “One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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