Chuckle 951

Chuckle 951
(Mary S of Los Osos CA gets today's chuckle thanks!)


~ Computer Tech Support ~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day.)

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one.
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.
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Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello. I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "Start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, darn it!
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red. Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Click today in History and Learn.

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Sunday February 12, 2006

eleemosynary \el-uh-MOS-uh-ner-ee\, adjective:1. Of or for charity; charitable; as, "an eleemosynary institution."2. Given in charity or alms; having the nature of alms; as, "eleemosynary assistance."3. Supported by charity; as, "eleemosynary poor."

We also need to revive the great eleemosynary institutions through which compassionate people serve those in need with both greater flexibility and discipline than government agencies are capable.-- Clifford F. Thies, "Bring back the bridewell," The World & I, September 1, 1995

An author ought to consider himself, not as a gentleman who keeps a private or eleemosynary treat, but rather as one who keeps a public ordinary, at which all persons are welcome for their money.-- Henry Fielding, Tom Jones

Like Hilda's "eleemosynary doves," these birds depend upon the Author's charity, require mothering, just as Hilda finds solace in the Virgin--"a child, lifting its tear-stained face to seek comfort from a Mother."-- John Dolis, "Domesticating Hawthorne: Home Is for the Birds," Criticism, Winter 2001

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