Chuckle 957

Chuckle 957
(Phyllis S of Pasadena CA gets today's chuckle thanks!)


~Doctors’ Notes~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day.)

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA ***

Note: There is another page of “Doctor Notes”, if you want to read them let me know and I will email a copy to you. ---Jerry---

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

______________________________________________________

Click Today in History and learn.

• Today in history

______________________________________________________

Word of the Day for Saturday February 18, 2006

canard \kuh-NAHRD\, noun:1. An unfounded, false, or fabricated report or story.2. A horizontal control and stabilizing surface mounted forward of the main wing of an aircraft.3. An aircraft whose horizontal stabilizer is mounted forward of the main wing.

This is just a canard that is assumed to be true because it has been repeated so often.-- Bruce Bartlett, "Lower Taxes Higher Revenue?," National Review, March 13, 2003

Loath as I am to resurrect the old canard accusing writers or critics who dislike a popular work of art of being jealous, in Byatt's case, it might be true.-- Charles Taylor, "quoted in Rowling books 'for people with stunted imaginations," The Guardian, July 11, 2003

Several students say they still believe the canard that no Americans died in Bali -- in fact, six did.-- Phil Zabriskie, "Did You Hear...?," Time Asia, February 1, 2003

Whether this was true (which seems improbable) or was one of Lawrence's numerous canards (which seems very possible), it appears that Father did intend to strike camp at some time.-- Douglas Botting, Gerald Durrell: The Authorized Biography