Chuckle 1063

Chuckle 1063
(Phyllis H of Carpinteria CA gets today's chuckle thanks!)



~Church Bulletins~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and 6 Differences.)

Sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:” Searching for Jesus."

3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

4. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

6. Don't let worry kill you off.... let the Church help.

7. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth into Joy." ***

Note; There are 15 more of these. If you want me to send them to you let me know. ---Jerry---

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Monday June 5, 2006
contumely \kon-TYOO-muh-lee; -TOO-; KON-tyoo-mee-lee; -too-; KON-tum-lee\, noun:1. Rudeness or rough treatment arising from haughtiness and contempt; scornful insolence.2. An instance of contemptuousness in act or speech.

Nothing aggravates tyranny so much as contumely.-- Edmund Burke
The pedlars find satisfaction for all contumelies in making good bargains.-- Nathaniel Hawthorne, The American Notebooks

Following years of police harassment and public contumely, he was arrested and charged with high treason, espionage and "anti-Soviet activity."-- "Know Thyself, Free Thyself", New York Times, June 5, 1988

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(Find the 6 differences, answers below)