Chuckle 1066

Chuckle 1066
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Sunny Mary of Los Osos CA!)


~Bear’s Revenge~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi are conversing over coffee.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all back together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. When I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. However, the bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "Brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. I began to READ to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! That bear wanted NOTHING to do with me! I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. I quick-DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. You know what, Glory to God hallelujah; he came up out of the water growling in tongues! We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start." ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history

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Word of the Day for Thursday June 8, 2006
arbiter \AR-buh-tuhr\, noun:1. A person appointed or chosen to judge or decide a dispute.2. Any person who has the power of judging and determining.

There was no shortage of such socially knowing, good-natured, and adaptable folk among the charter members of the Institute, especially in its department of literature, where a sizable number were not really literary practitioners but instead high-quality magazine editors, professors, and other well-settled arbiters of taste.-- John Updike (Editor), A Century of Arts & Letters

Justin had a way of making people want to do things for him; of all the kids he had made himself the arbiter of cool.-- Rebecca Chace, Capture the Flag

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