Chuckle 1536

Chuckle 1536
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Rich C of Yuma AZ!)

~Short and Funny~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day.)


I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life... Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
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At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."
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Aspire to inspire before you expire.
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My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses...without your glasses.
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Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
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The irony of life is that by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
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I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
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Every morning is the dawn of a new error. ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)
. Today in history
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(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
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Thanks go to Charles M of Bradenton FL for these Rodney Dangerfield one liners.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said," Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I knew a girl so ugly; they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the Kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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"Have a nice day!"