Chuckle 3032

(Chuckle 3032)

(Sheila M of Grass Valley CA gets today’s chuckle thanks)

Chuckle 306 (Sent out in April of 2004)

~Assorted Chuckles~ (Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and 6 differences.)

PALM SUNDAY:

IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES.

THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR.

"PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY."

"WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!"

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CHILDREN'S SERMON:

ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN HERE?"

"I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EXCLAIMED. "PANTY HOSE!"

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SUPPORT A FAMILY:

THE PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU SUPPORT A FAMILY?"

THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST PLANNING TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES."

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GRANDMA'S AGE:

LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA HOW OLD SHE WAS.

GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."

JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"

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FIRST TIME USHERS:

A LITTLE BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE USHERS PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES.

WHEN THEY CAME NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR ME DADDY. I'M UNDER FIVE."
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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

Word for the day Click

http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/

For today's Horoscope click
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/
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(Maxine Cartoon)

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(Find the six differences, answers below)