Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 4416

Chuckle 4416

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Mac M of Florence OR)

~Court Chuckles Pt 2~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

ATTORNEY: Were you Present when your Picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you Shitting me?

ATTORNEY: So the Date of Conception (of the Baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting Laid

ATTORNEY: She had three Children, Right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were Boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any Girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different Attorney. Can I get a new Attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first Marriage Terminated?
WITNESS: By Death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose Death was it Terminated?
WITNESS: Take a Guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the Individual?
WITNESS: He was about Medium Height and had a Beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a Male or a Female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with Male.

ATTORNEY: Is your Appearance here this morning Pursuant to a Deposition Notice which I sent to your Attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I Dress when I go to Work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your Autopsies have you Performed on Dead People?
WITNESS: All of them. The Live Ones Put Up Too Much Of A Fight.

ATTORNEY: ALL your Responses MUST be Oral, OK? What School did you go to?
WITNESS: ORAL...

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the Body?
WITNESS: The Autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was Dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Are you Qualified to give a Urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you Qualified to ask that Question?

And Lastly:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the Autopsy, did you check for a Pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for Blood Pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for Breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the Patient was Alive when you began the Autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his Brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the Patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and Practicing Law.😫