Chuckle 1096

Chuckle 1096
(Pat M of Florence OR gets today's chuckle thanks!)

(Just ask for the 'ARKANSAS CUT’)


Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...
~You Know You’re a Redneck When~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. ***
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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Saturday July 8, 2006

histrionic \his-tree-ON-ik\, adjective:1. Of or relating to actors, acting, or the theater; befitting a theater; theatrical.2. Overly dramatic; deliberately affected.

As late as 1895, when George Bernard Shaw was reviewing new London productions of scripts by Henry James and Oscar Wilde, he was dealing with the interpretations imposed by an actor-manager, who would often select a play mainly because it had a role that promised to showcase his particular histrionic talents.-- Wendy Lesser, A Director Calls

And the same is true for the other judgments we make about tears, as when we deem them to be normal or excessive, sincere or manipulative, expressive or histrionic.-- Tom Lutz, Crying: The Natural and Cultural History of Tears

Rose does have too many repetitive, histrionic fits.-- Frank Rich, "Miller's 'American Clock'", New York Times, November 21, 1980
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