Chuckle 1102

Chuckle 1102
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Retha A of Richland OR!)


~Who's yo Daddy???~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day)

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support.

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. Or putting it another way....Who's yo Daddy! These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

Be sure to check out # 11 - it takes the prize and # 3 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto heels in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Yep, you guessed it right. We are all paying taxes to support these dim bulbs.

Is this a great country.....or what! ***


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(Click Today in History and learn.)

• Today in history
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Word of the Day for Friday July 14, 2006

arrant \AR-unt\, adjective:Thoroughgoing; downright; out-and-out; confirmed; extreme; notorious.

More deplorable is his arrant and compulsive hypocrisy . . Under all the chest hair, he was a hollow man.-- J. D. McClatchy, review of Crux: The Letters of James Dickey, New York Times, December 19, 1999

I think a pilot would be a most arrant coward, if through fear of bad weather he did not wait for the storm to break but sank his ship on purpose.-- Georges Minois, History Of Suicide translated by Lydia Cochrane

The moon's an arrant thief,And her pale fire she snatches from the sun.-- Shakespeare, Timon of Athens

The entire story is a load of arrant nonsense.-- Victor Pelevin, Buddha's Little Finger translated by Andrew Bromfield
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