Chuckle 1256

Chuckle 1257
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Phyllis S of Pasadena CA!)

~Contest Entries~
(Plus: Today in History and Word for the Day.)

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most Romantic first line...but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received:

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, violets are dead, sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime... ***

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(Click Today in History and learn.)
. Today in history
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(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
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(Steven Wright's gem for the day.)

21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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